Refrigerator

Guy on the phone: Did you know it is going to cost approximatly one million dollars for me to even LOOK at your crappy old refrigerator that came with your house? Before I even start fixing it!?

Me: No. I thought the whole thing would cost $100.

Guy on the phone: *THUNDEROUS LAUGHTER* Look here. Here's what you do. Look in the bottom of your freezer. Do you see a big block of ICE?

Me: Yes. Is that bad?

Guy: Take a hammer and break all that out. Don't go and kill the fridge, now. (?!??!!) At the bottom of all that there is a hole, and that is called D R A I N. (Thank you!)

Benny: (Loudly in my ear, holding a freeze-R-pop) What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this?

Me: SO WHAT DO I DO WITH THE DRAIN?

Guy: Make it hot so the water goes down it!!! THEN IT WILL NOT TURN INTO ICE IN YOUR FREEZER! THEN IT WILL NOT LEAK ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!!

Okay, he wasn't shouting. But I'm just saying... if it's that easy....

HERE I GO!