Conversation

Me, standing in kitchen, end of day, tired, tumultuously crabby: Do you want coffee?
Him: Uh, sure.
Me: Sure or yes?
Him: What is your deal with sure or yes? They are both affirmative answers. Yes, sure, what does it matter?
Me: Well I will tell you why it matters. Because "sure" is like yeah, okay, I will drink your coffee, if it will make you happy, because that is how I suffer for you, I suffer by struggling through your beverages that you continually bring me, your coffee, your tea, your little plaintive offerings, because I don't want to hurt you by saying no, but secretly, I just want you to leave me alone, to go away, to take all your cups and saucers with you, and let me have some peace. That's what SURE means. Whereas "yes" means yes, yes, I want coffee. So when I'm standing here, I want to know, do you want me to make coffee, because you want to drink it? Or not? Because I would be just as happy, at this point in the evening, to warm up some of this morning's pot in the microwave, and drink it all by myself.
Him: *studied silence*

Ten minutes later:
Me: Do you want coconut crap in your coffee?
Him: YES! YES! YES! OH YES I DO! YES!