Eventful Day

1. I have consumed rather a large glass of Pinot Grigio. I mean really a family sized glass.

2. We got in a car accident today.

3. The kids are fine, I'm fine, the dog is fine. Ahno was with us. She is also fine. The car actually crashed into us right in front of the passenger seat. So it's good that Ahno is fine. She was very nearly not so fine.

4. I'm watching "Elf" - starring Will Farrell.

5. The van is not fine. It had to be towed off; I couldn't even drive it off the road.

6. I love "Elf" even though the romantic storyline is kind of creepy. Okay really creepy.

7. I was driving down the road and a woman in in a Volkswagen bug shot out in front of me to make a left hand turn. She had a stop sign, but, apparently, did not see me. The road has five lanes. Two for my side, two for the oncoming side, and one for the turning lane. I was rolling along in the second lane, slightly behind a semi truck in the outside lane. She apparently did not see me because as soon as the semi truck cleared her she leaped out into my lane and -- BAM. I tried swerving into the turn lane and stood on the brake also but she still hit us.

8. We have the most massive tree this year. Ahno gave us her tree, which she decided was too big for her front room. This tree is nine feet tall. And fat. And fully lit up with white lights. We have had a real tree for all the years so far, but this year we have a fake one, and I have to say it looks pretty good in the old gold ribbon.

9. Really, "Elf" is just what I need right now.

10. My first thought was a red wave of total rage that someone had successfully invaded my force field and tried to harm my beautiful children. This was immediately replaced with a thick veneer of attempted cheer so that the children would not freak out and be scarred forever and never want to get back in a car. Understand that my deepest desire was to have a completely flatout hysterical foaming episode.

11. After I called the police I called Dan and cried briefly on the phone, then pasted back on my attempt at a calm demeanor. I hugged the person who hit me. I held her hand and said it would be fine. She lit up a cigarette and I wished desperately that I could join her.

12. Potato chips are good and salty. Now I am drinking a very large glass of water too.

13. Mary Steenburgen does not delight me. However, she does not depress me as much, tonight, as she normally does.

14. Don't know what's going to happen with the van. Ironically, we were going to trade it in. Strangely enough, we might still. We might just have it towed to the dealership and say, "Give us a new one." Question is: Silver again? Or something different?

15. The person who hit us had a car seat in the back, and I said, "Is your baby okay?" and she said that she was on the way to pick him up. She was wearing very slutty boots. Later, she was joined by a short masculine woman and a large bored-looking man.

16. It was amazing to me, even while it was happening, that my "Don't let the kids get upset" mommy-brain could override my "Someone tried to kill my children" mommy-brain. It was pretty good. I did not, at any time, completely wig. I wigged a tiny bit, but I did not wig in any sort of child-scarring way. I think the kids are fine.

17. At bedtime, when I asked Benny what was his best thing all day, he said, "Being near you. Which was all day!" When I asked what was his worst thing today, he said, "It starts with W. And it's work." Yes, the poor little squirt did like 30 minutes of schoolwork today. He loved the part about what coins go together to make different amounts of money. Did not like practicing subtraction with borrowing. Oh, dry your tears.

18. Essentially, someone smacked into us with their car. The van was broke, but we are all fine and no one was hurt. Not a big, at the end of the day, and this is the end of it, deal.

19. I made Benny's favorite food for dinner and did not talk about the car accident while the kids were downstairs. I made shrimp, green beans, and alfredo noodles. Sadie demanded "real" cheesey noodles.

20. I love the scene with the pitch meeting in "Elf." It's so awesome.