Worms

Grass

Bikes

Run

A Mad Lib!

First, write down, or just meditatively consider, your answers for these:

1. A floor surface on which it would be really inconvenient or even infuriating to get dog poop.
2. A piece of information with which one becomes familiar at an early age, like ones name or age or one's mother's likely reaction to finding dog poop ground into the rug.
3. Something you wear on your feet which might handily convey dog poop from the yard into the house.
4. Place where the dog poops.
5. A liquid you can get from the outdoor faucet or the indoor faucet, either one.
6. Rectangular boundary between the area where poop can be on the ground and the place where it can't be.
7. Animal that poops outside.
8. Byproduct of dog digestion.
9. Small moveable floor covering, which may or may not (in this case may) have a dark and complicated pattern, perfect for hiding smudges and smears of dog poop.
10. Past tense verb describing a reaction one might have to frustration. Examples: "tore myself limb from limb" or "threw myself out the window" or "cried."

Now, let's move on to our story.

We have one room in our house with __1__. And we have one rule regarding this. This is a rule that the children know better than their own __2__. The rule: You may not wear __3__ on the carpet. Today we were playing out in the __4__. Benny decided he needed __5__ to fill the pool for the fairy house he was making. He went to the __6__ and into the house without taking off his __3__. At this time I was engaged with throwing a ball for the __7__, having already been around the yard with a bunch of plastic bags, picking up all the __8__ I could find. Apparently, Benny found a hidden cache of __8__, because when I went through the __6__ later, I found that __8__ had been handily tramped all over the __1__, across the kitchen floor, and then thoughtfully spread around particularly the __9__ in front of the kitchen sink. Then I __10___. And that was before, after cleaning it all up, I stepped in the bit I had missed.

Wasn't that a SUPERFUN GAME?

*thud*

Karate

Oilily

Store

Park

GREEN BELT

Benny got his GREEN BELT.

That's right. You heard me. BELT. The green belt. The new color belt is now ON HIM. I can't really explain how this happened except that when we got back from Orlando, something happened to him, and his karate kicked in, in a new way. He is fiercer now. Not necessarily technically better, but much fiercer. Fierce apparently goes a long way in karate! He has a different attitude now -- you can see him trying to really do it, instead of just having fun with it. Mr. Odom noticed this change and rewarded it. Mr. Odom is SO GREAT to Benny. Such a good teacher for him. Here is Benny's yellow belt class doing one of their forms. His last day as a yellow belt:



Here's Mr. Odom tying on his belt, and giving a little motivational speech:



Here's the new green belt with Mr. Odom. This is an example of his new "game face" -- very intimidating isn't it!

House

Multimedia message

Office

House

Chair

Furniture store

Multimedia message

New phone

Multimedia message

Another lost tooth!

Ball

Fun w Blokus

Fellini's

Porque

Sadie

Jcc

Violin

Playground

Violin concert

Graph

Nanoing

The kids are out of the house, the music is on, the coffee is nearby... now how do I get the Boston Terrier off my collar bone?!??!

Karate

Dog park

Blog

Artist

Mall

TeetyWoot

Important and Reliable Reviews: Just Like Heaven and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Just Like Heaven:

There were three good things about this movie.
1. Just Like Heaven is my favorite song by The Cure.
2. Reese Witherspoon is just cute. There's no denying.
3. Mark Ruffalo looks kinda like Brando but sounds kinda like Ray Romano.
Everything else about this movie was bad. The plot, the writing, the... whatever else there is about movies. I still enjoyed it, though, because of Reese. She is just so cute and I'm not a denier.


Kiss Kiss Bang Bang:

There were three bad things about this movie:
1. The narrator did this dumb, self-referential crap like referencing the fact that he's narrating, like rewinding scenes and stopping for all-caps subtitles... bad.
2. The female lead was supposed to be an engenue, but had a voice like a 45 year old chain-smoking waitress. And also waxy skin.
3. Certain things that were brought up in the movie early on were abandoned without explanation. Like, who was he talking to when he was on the phone when he was stealing in the toy shop?
These shortcomings notwithstanding, I loved this movie. I did fall asleep a lot. But I watched it again the next night to catch the bits I missed. Dan and I laughed out loud, multiple times, in fact this is the most we've laughed at a movie in a long time. Val Kilmer (awesome) played a gay private investigator, and Robert Downey Jr. (brilliant) played a neurotic, hysterical semi-criminal weirdo, with a heart. FANTASTIC comical pairing. VERY VERY funny. We loved it.

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movies

A Little Theater

Butt Paper
a one act play
starring Benny as Benny
and Dan as Dan

As the scene opens, Dad is marching briskly around vacuuming and straightening up the house (thank god someone is doing it) while I am chewing my wrists open and trying to bleed some life into my Nanowrimo novel. Benny is in the downstairs bathroom, where Dan is encouraging him to help with the straightening up. Note: Recently when I walk into the downstairs bathroom in the evening, I find a small poop in the toilet and the cool, electronic, flashing "Rainforest Cafe" drinking goblet turned on and upside down in the sink. Odd.

Dan: Benny, will you pick up that piece of toilet paper and put it in the garbage? (Note: It was clean toilet paper that had been shredded by the cat or someone equally nefarious like the baby, and left to die on the floor.)
Benny picks up the toilet paper and lifts the lid of the toilet to put it in.
Dan: The garbage, Benny. The garbage. (Note: The reason Dan wanted it in the garbage so bad, and not in the toilet, was because the toilet had just been flushed (probably because there was a small poop in it and a flashing glass in the sink) and if another little scrap of paper was in it, he'd have to flush it again, because he's just that guy.)
Benny: But DADDY, it is --
Dan: I know what it is, and I'm asking you to put it in the garbage.
Benny dangles his hand over the toilet, bursting with determination.
Dan: THE GARBAGE BENNY! THE GARBAGE! IT'S THERE! THE GARBAGE!!
Benny: But DADDY what I am trying to tell you is that it's TOILET PAPER.
Dan: And I'm asking you to put it in the GARBAGE!
Me, unhelpfully, from another room: But it's toilet paper! It's toilet paper!
Benny, totally vindicated: Mommy's right it's TOILET PAPER. It goes in the TOILET.
Dan: ACTUALLY, IT'S BUTT PAPER! THE ONLY REASON THEY CALL IT TOILET PAPER IS BECAUSE BUTT PAPER DOESN'T SOUND AS NICE! IF IT WAS CALLED BUTT PAPER WOULD YOU PICK IT UP OFF THE FLOOR AND STAND THERE DEMANDING TO PUT IT IN YOUR BUTT?!?
At which point Benny saw the value of that argument, put it in the garbage, and we all learned our lesson. The end. Or is it!??!? *dum dum DUUUUM*

Bonus Dan:

Woman on TV Commercial: Last night was exhausting. We didn't finish dinner until almost midnight, because we had such a steady stream of visitors and guests!
Dan: And we can just never eat too many visitors and guests!

*snicker*

Two More Chapters

Here are the next two installments of Benny's novel. I should point out that in the second bit here, he's crossed the line into fan fiction. As long as he knows the difference, I told him to just go for it. :D

Benny Netzer and his Powers

Benny has everything to protect himself from evil when they fire. All those are called powers. The first laser power is when he uses his hands. It works when he has his fingers all closed, the thumb on the first one, and the rest including the first one are all touching the palm. Then, they open, and then a huge blue ball springs out near him and out comes a little ball of blue that devastates. People that touch it, when they touch it, they get devastated. It's good news when evil touches it. But it doesn't go through anything, it just destroys it.


On the second laser power, he circles his hands and then comes out balls of red. They can go through and destroy.

The third power is Benny Netzer's force field. It can protect Benny Netzer from any laser. How Benny Netzer puts his forcefield out: He swings his arms around fastly! That puts out a force field. When Benny puts his force field out, he stomps one of his feet.

The fourth power is Benny Netzer's water from his hands. It works just like Benny's first laser power. He uses that to put out some fire that's burning something good.

Benny Netzer's fifth power: He has four hands. The whole team has four hands! But you can't see the second two hands. But you can when Benny Netzer uses the powers that put them out. He uses it to reach things he can't reach with his first two hands.

How Benny Netzer gets his powers -- that's the Norfolk City World's Master, Aseedea. When Benny Netzer gets his powers, Aseedea gets a potion that has powers just the same as his powers that we were just talking about. Benny Netzer's powers are the same as the whole team's powers. There's Lydia Netzer, Sadie Netzer, and Dan Netzer. Including Benny Netzer. That's the whole team Netzer. Benny Netzer's wonder pets are Leroy Netzer, Hoity Netzer, and the fish has to stay in a tank. The fish's name is Nemo Netzer.

About the Evil Emperor Zurg

Zurg is evil and emperor. He lives on Planet Zee. He has an arch hero named Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. Star Command is not a City World at all. It's a place near grandit gordoret in sector 4. In 42 ship is Team Lightyear. Lightyear is also a word. It's how far it is. I don't know how far it is. Actually, it's how far light can go in a year. Today Buzz Lightyear vs. Torque helping Zurg. Zurg got Torque to help him, but Buzz Lightyear did it, because Buzz Lightyear put Torque in the ship to take him to a place where he would be defeated. A whole place where black hole people were. Suddenly hornets from Zurg attacked the ship and took Torque to Planet Zee instead! And took Torque to Zurg's fortress. That's how Zurg got Torque to help him. You know, Zurg has an ion blaster. The whole Team Lightyear is Mira Nova, Booster, and X-R. All of them were Space Rangers except X-R. He was a rangerbot. Zurg has a power and it's his eye power. It turns everything into dust that he lasers.

The Adventures of Benny N--- of the City World

I hope you will enjoy this chapter story. This is going to be one of our masters. His name is Benny N--! His arch-enemy is the evil Shawan. We were just talking about this guy on the first chapter. It was called "About the Evil Shawan." And this is now our story.

Once upon a time, in a Norfolk City World, it was the only City World in Norfolk. In all the teams were there on this day. But once in a while, the commander of Team N--of the Norfolk City World had one very evil mission. It was about the evil Shawan. He was attacking Norfolk! And it all became inside Benny N--. He was the bravest, the smartest hero in the whole City World. Actually in the whole Wild World and City Worlds. What do you think? He's super brave. Super strong. And super smart. He can lift a thing that no other six-year-old can carry. Even Benny N--was six, that's because he was super strong. The strongest hero in the whole wide earth.

Let's take a tour around. If you see round things, up on the ceiling, then they're doors. They're only to be seen in the City World Garage. It's all up to our teams to defeat the same arch-enemy as Benny N--. Because Benny N--was planning for everyone to defeat the evil Shawan. He was going to need their help. During a mission, Team N--found the evil Shawan attacking the greatness and also trying to defeat City World heroes! It was really upsetting to Team N--. Team N--had to do the job to defeat the evil Shawan. Suddenly, there was a hit! And a laser! Oh, it missed the evil Shawan! Suddenly, Benny N--found more evil! And then they all started to hide from each other. Then Benny N--used his *other* laser power that could go through. He aimed it at the evil that was all lined up. He fired! Oh, it missed! But it did reach the evil Zurg's place. It went through the Zurg evil. Evil was down one, of course. One part of the mission, accomplished!

But what happened to the other? It should be accomplished too! Suddenly, Benny N-- did another fire, of a second laser power, while aiming it at the evil. Not at the Zurg, because the Zurg was already devastated. Or shall I say, defeated? Then they went back to the Norfolk City World. That mission was accomplished! The evil Shawan was defeated, even the others. Suddenly, the evil Shawan came back to life, but not the others. And, so did his parents! They were the evil team. So the mission was not accomplished. Benny tried his might for days and days! And that was done. That mission was on for a really really long time. They headed back to the Norfolk City World just in time for the greatest, the strongest hero. You know who that one is! It's Benny N--! Now just if you see a Norfolk City World, the only one, you should enter to thank Benny N--. This all started in 2006, November 3rd.

Halloween Pictures

At the pumpkin patch.

The majestic Boston Terrier.

Our gingerbread house looks delicious. Thanks Grammy!

 

And it *is* delicious.

Here they are trick-or-treating. After spending most of October in his Buzz Lightyear costume, he decided to be a vampire on Halloween night. He made the teeth himself.

We had to substitute a different scary cape after the ties on his broke (sewed by me, thank you, that's right, they broke). Fortunately I was wearing this other cape, so replacing his busted one was but the work of a moment.

Boo!

These are my favorites. Many more on my Flickr gallery. :D

Our Heroes

They also belong to a city world. Our heroes always protect us. They come up with great ideas. It's nice for them to do that. Their names are lots of powerful names. And some heroes have their names like Spiderman, like Batman, like Energyman. They all end with the word Man. And their names are cool. But the evil ones are really, really, really evil. Actually they're super-evil. Evil is when it's superduper bad. And they try to attack heroes. Our most powerful heroes live in city worlds. They have everything a hero needs to have by their powers. They have laser powers, two types of them! One for going through none, and one for going through anything. Except force fields. Or metal. If it does that, on metal, it just leaves a black mark. It probably may be steam. But do not touch that black spot -- your hand might be killed when that happens! Our strongest hero, our master, is Benny N--! It's team N-- that Benny N-- is in. He's always ready to defeat the evil Shawan. That's his arch-enemy. The evil Shawan is really really really evil. More evil than any other evil. He's the master of the evil.

About the Evil Shawan

In a day when a hero comes up to evil, they all do the same thing as the evil Shawan. They attack, but every time they walk up to evil, they also put out a force field. When they get attacked by the evil. You know what force fields are? They are things that protect yourself. There's lots of things that protect yourself. Metal items, and force fields. They all protect yourself, like any other things. Any time that happens to when you see metal or force fields, if you touch a force field, you won't be able to get through it. Either through metal! Did you know, even a fire can't go through metal! Or force fields. They are superstrong. But the evil Shawan always thinks that evil is what the world needs. And that's what happens to other evil, in their brains. No matter what, they're always ready to attack the goodness. So the heroes have to attack the evil. Any bad guys that marry another female bad one, they always turn into evil. If a hero reaches an evil, they always attack just like the evil does to the good. Did you know evil can be an arch enemy? Well, every hero has an arch enemy, including your heroes.



Our heroes are always trying to attack evil. They never give up.

Good Nanonews!

Benny is going to be writing a novel in November too! I didn't realize that kids could participate with a lesser word count goal, part of the Young Writers Program. So, we'll see how far he gets! I'll be posting his efforts as we go along.