Sean Hannity: Another Absurd Analogy

Today the strange and unusual Sean Hannity welcomed a caller onto his show, and this caller did not support the war. The caller's position was that the war in Iraq was wrong and that the troops should be brought home. Sean Hannity, in his predictable way, trotted out two analogies which are by now surely threadbare from use. These are:

1. Well, you peacenik commie red-tinged diaperhead, what if there was a woman screaming from your neighbor's house, and she was being raped, and you heard it, would you just sit in your house watching the Price is Right while she got raped and then died?

2. What about Adolf Hitler, I suppose you'd nurture him in your bosom as well? Would you dandle him on your knee and feed him bon-bons and compliments, you liberal pansy nerd?

Like I said, I've heard him say these things before, and I always try and just smile and shake my head and say, "Ah, Sean Hannity, all the subtlety of a market hog." But today, I snapped, and I must say, if not to him, then to you: THESE ARE NOT MEANINGFUL ANALOGIES. THEY ARE IDIOTIC. If these analogies were to actually remotely apply to the Iraq war, it would be like this:

1. If some guy in another town and his gang of vicious ne'er do wells were reportedly beating each other up, would you bundle up your children and send them through the forest to this other town to fight the guy? Iraq is not our neighbor. And they did not ask for our assistance.

2. What if Hitler had stayed within his borders and confined his hideous deeds to his own lands, kind of like... oh... I don't know... several present-day leaders spring immediately to mind. Would you send your military to invade and depose him, knowing that the Germans would fight you tooth and nail? Hussein was not Hitler. There are other evil dictators holed up in their own countries, making their people miserable.

Of course, if I put these points to Mr. Hannity, he would respond thusly:

1. Yes, of course it is our duty to rid the world of terrorists, however far away, however obscure, however isolated. We are Great Americans! Why do you like terrorists so much? Are *you* a terrorist?

2. So, you want Hussein back in power? Yes or no? Answer the question. Why can't you answer a yes or no question? Do you or do you not want Saddam Hussein to take control of Iraq again? Yes or no?

It is pointless, I know. Why the devil I listen to his asshatted show confounds me. And what is with this "You're a great American" thing anyway? How does he know what kind of Americans his callers are? The only thing that qualifies an American for greatness, in Hannitlandia, is to affirm the greatness of Hannity. Ridiculous. I'm waiting for someone to get that "You're a great American!" response, and lob back, "Surprise, Sean, I'm a pedophile *and* a tax evader! Snap!"

Or maybe I'm just waiting for some smart caller to say those simple sentences: Hannity, your analogy blows. They aren't our neighbors, and they weren't asking for help. Put that one back in the drawer until the Canadian ambassador asks us to support the people of Canada as they overthrow the Prime Minister.

WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE DO THIS? Now *that* would be a great American.

sean+hannity hannity bush iraq talk+radio conservativism republicans