Secret Tumor

In the springtime of the year, God put a secret tumor into the mother’s abdomen somewhere. It was very small but it had a lot of nervous energy. The mother had had a lot of abdominal pain which was attributed by all to her chronic disease of the gut. There had been problematic pockets in her gut which if filled with for example raspberry seeds became quite inflamed and problematic. Many times, a certain diet and some antibiotics would cure the inflammation and the pain. This was not one of those times because while there were in fact a few pockets full of seed there was also the other thing which could be controlled by neither diet nor medicine, especially because it was a great big secret and nobody knew.

Ronnie said to her mother, “Everything that is wrong with you would fit into a walnut. You have to get yourself together.”

Because nobody knew about the secret cancer, the summer plans proceeded as usual. The mother had been frail for years. Who would expect her not to be frail after the life she’d led? She hadn’t driven a car, hadn’t canned jam, hadn’t started a fire in the fireplace, for years and years. This year was initially different in that she was complaining a bit more about the seat belt when she was taken to the bank. Eventually came a bit of catatonia and something black coming out of her that wasn’t natural. But it all bled in together, each thing into the next thing, and no one knew how serious life had become until it was very nearly over.