The paintball player, just east of the entrance portal (although he personally enters through the parking lot) has a deep history of motivations that most people are entirely unaware of. Once, this paintball player was a proud and noble hero, and a defender of the great city of New Thalos. With great heroism, he decided to heed the call of remort. For a challenge, and to grow in his power to better serve the civilians, he remorted as a thief. At first, he was impressed by his own new talents. But soon, joy left him, as he realized that the thief class was really tough, so tough he could no longer level. Trapped around level fifty, he had nothing to do. He could not defend New Thalos - and so, to vent his frustration, he has turned to the game of paintball. He longs to learn to use the paintballs well enough to fight real battles with them, so he may level again.

That the fair lady Vera of New Thalos sells vegetables is quite the cruel irony, indeed. Long ago, she was a part of the highest nobility of New Thalos, due to her marriage to a wealthy young man whom she loved dearly. For many years they lived in the high places of society. Her love for gardening caused her to open the vegetable stand she has now, but though she beams over it, the expression on her face is a lie. In the past, it shone true, but on one fatefull day, an assassin of the cruel Crimson Lords hit an elaborate ball in New Thalos, striking several nobles with a deadly toxin. Her husband was among them. Slowly, he slipped to a comatose state - a vegetable. In this state, he stayed for a long time - it is a state he is still in now. His wealth drains slowly to keep him alive, and so Vera must struggle, selling vegetables so that she can keep her vegetable husband alive for the hope of his revival. A sad tale, indeed.

A hardened warrior of the Ninetowers, Otto's past is an odd and relatively unknown tale of magic and power. Long ago, a band of wizards attempted to destroy the Shire. The Ninetowers moved to intervene, and succeeded. But, before they fell, the wizards of destruction opened a strange purple portal, one that ripped all of time into confetti and summoned a clone of Otto von Bismarck of historical origin. It took quite a bit of time to figure all of this out, but before that could be done chemical imbalances in Otto's brain caused him to become deeply pious, and he did join the Ninetowers immediately and fought all of his days for their glory, until at last he retired into the Fourth Tower to teach, never in life once wondering about the strange way in which he was seperated from the historical Otto von Bismarck.

RADAGAST
Radagast the Brown was one of the origional five Istari, sent from Valinor to oppose the might of Sauron. With such an auspicious beginning, great things might have been expected of him, but it was not to be. While walking in Gladden fields on an errand of great urgency, he came across a halfling lass of surpassing fairness and was immediately stricken with love. Forsaking his mission he pursued her to excess, emptying his bank accounts to provide her with restrung pretties. Alas, in the end she was only stringing him along. "My big daddy D will take care of me." She told him, and sent him on his way. He blew the last of his money in a druken orgy of Snuffsterbrau, and forswore forever the company of humans. He spent the rest of his days wandering alone with the animals. Ironically, he was eventually eaten by a bear.

Gordon the Brave, Old Thalos' indestructible guardian warrior, was not always the mighty figure of manhood that we see today. Gordon was a very bookish child, and his natural propensity for science finally won him scholarships worldwide, leading finally to a doctorate from MIT. Gordon left MIT to take a high-paying job in the private sector, but then things went very wrong. All records regarding what happened out in that desert are sealed, and Gordon wouldn't talk to us about these events, mentioning a non-disclosure agreement and casting nervous looks over his shoulder. Gordon moved to Thalos some years ago, where his habit of always wearing a full suit of armor won him many strange glances. His heavy protection and skill with a crowbar quickly won him a position as the official protector of the city, although he still has a tendency to scream at the sight of insects...

The Cashier was born under the name Tilly Mackintosh to a poor family in south Florida. Somewhat spoiled as a child, she blossomed early and the roaring twenties found her a smashing success on the burlesque circuit in Monte Carlo. Wild in her youth, she was still the consumate material girl and left a string of ex-husbands in her wake, all wondering where their money had gone. Her last husband, a rich german general, committed suicide in the early forties. Giving up marriage, she went into business for herself, and set up a string of casinos along the Costa del Sol. This wasn't enough for her, and during the late seventies and early eighties her casinos became a front for a huge international money-laundering operation for the Columbian cartels. Her house of cards came crashing down when the DEA caught wind of her operation, siezed her assets, and shut her down.

Sauron was born just this side of Mt. Doom to proud parents Mr. & Mrs. Enigma. His youth was spent at the Institute for the Advancement of Evil Supreme Beings. This was a troubling time for him as he was often teased about his penchant for effeminate finger wear. Little did he know that this teasing would harden him into the proud owner of the most sought-after weapon on Mirkwood. <Insert commercial here about keeping newbies off magic mushrooms>. So where is Sauron now? “Well I mainly just hang out in the warmer climates. I wanted to retire but the demand was just too great.” In fact, heroes line up for the chance to do battle against this vile legend.

Bob is neither fat nor cheery. The nickname was given him as a kind of a joke, much like very large people are often called Tiny. What is the cause of Bob’s lack of cheer? Well he works in a stable and his small stature is more than a little inconvenient. Especially when those rude ring wraiths show up with their huge and uncooperative mounts. <Insert add here for Bits o’jerky, “Morts don’t know its not bacon.”> Bob has a nice ladder to assist him with removing the tack from horses but he lives for his days off when he can go to the gym and try and bulk up. Good luck Bob!

The Rainbow cult has often given out an incorrect image to the populace of Mirkwood, something which a rainbow warrior has endeavored to correct. “Right! Listen up! Just because we like rainbows doesn’t mean we are –that- way. It’s really sad that good words like gay, rainbow, and fae will suddenly bring a man’s preference into question when used. Gay was a great word that meant happy and joyful. Now a man can’t say ‘I’m feeling gay today’ without being attacked with accusations.” A rainbow warrior, once a journalism major at warrior school in Bree, spends his days spreading word that its ok to wear multi-colored outfits and still not be –that- way. He would also like everyone to know “not that there is anything wrong with those people, I mean, some of my best friends are leprechauns.”

The Green Dragon Sisters

The Ancient Green Dragon, or Agnes, is the oldest of the three sisters. In her youth she was widely known as the star of the dragon soap opera "Flames of our Lives". After a mere hundred and fifty seasons, however, she was abruptly written out of the show after a brief affair with a co-star turned ugly, and she ate his head. The newly pregnant Agnes found it difficult to find work, and in desperation married the old and somewhat senile precious metals magnate, Smaug. She devoted most of her time to raising her 17 children, and polishing Smaug's false teeth. Her life took a turn for the worse when her childen were slaughtered by a last desperate alliance of elves of men. As if this weren't enough, Smaug divorced her soon after for the young supermodel Tiamat. She currently has re-entered the acting world, landing the position of housekeeper on the sitcom "The Scaly Bunch".

The Great Green Dragon, or Gertrude, is the middle sister. From a very early age she showed great aptitude for physical activity, and lettered in several different sports in school. This won her an athletic scholarship to Drake University, where she quickly became captain of the cribbage team. (Dragon Cribbage is a very dangerous contact sport). Her career won her widespread attention, and a spot on the Dracolympic Cribbage team. Despite widespread allegations of the use of performance-enhancing substances, no charges were ever officially made, and Gertrude graduated with high hopes for an early pick in the DCL draft. These hopes were soon dashed by a drunken human on horseback who ran a lance through Gertrude's shuffling hand. His death was quick, but Gertrude faced long years of physical therapy to regain lost co-ordination. Her rehabilitation still continues, and she hopes to one day regain her former glory on the cribbage field.

The Huge Green Dragon, or Helga, is the youngest sister. Lacking the beauty and charm of her oldest sister, or Gertrude's physical talents, she grew up in the shadow of her much more successful sisters. Helga struggled with weight problems for most of her youth, and the social stigma this generated caused her to become very solitary and antisocial. Lacking social skills, she turned to online gaming as an outlet for her lonliness. At the time, only primitive text-based games were available, but she kept pace as the technology grew and moved on to KRO (Knight Roasting Online) and EverFlame. When the online gaming industry suddenly boomed, she found her long history and deep understanding of these games suddenly to be a marketable skill, and started her own company devloping a new online environment to compete with the industry leaders. Her creation is open both to dragons and to lesser mortals, so watch out. You never know if that newbie you're flaming might show up at your house and respond in a more literal fashion.

Of the gnome scientists in their village, the third one that repops in the room is definitely the most interesting. He has come up with hundreds of inventions, mostly to aide the Silver Circle, which has a keep very near to the gnome village. Of the inventions he has lent to them, most ingenius of all is the awesome, incredible MECHANICAL PENCIL! When he submitted it, he considered the use of it very obvious. However, in the hands of the circle, it became a mighty tool of many uses. Art found it made an excellent small knife. Wimp had never seen a more perfect dart! Alegna finally had a quick and easy way to do her makeup - and the dark grey shade looked great on her! Even Rukh, who normally didn't ever do anything, was seen using it as an eating utensil. And this is why that third scientist of the gnomes is so much more important, although the others have made similar contributions. Oh, and also, he has been writing nasty letters to the emperor of Lords since he was seven.

The Abbey on the Northern Plains is filled with a variety of righteous and wise characters, all consumed with monastic vows to which they hold intensely. However, one man, the pardoner, has quite a different agenda. As a young cleric, he made the decision to travel with healing to the city of Bree. Once he arrived, he was treated by the local cleric's guild to a small buffet dinner of cheese from the local factory. Big mistake. Consumed by a new holy passion for cheese, he promptly spent all of the funding that his guild had sent him out with. No exotic cheese was left untasted. When he was broke, he chose to prostitute out his healing for money, which bought him more cheese, and even cheesecake from the Silver keep - which he considered to be a divine gift. But, divine gifts were long gone from this fallen priest. He turned to organized crime. Finally, his sins caught up with him. He was caught in a blaze of gang crossfire while walking down Mugwort row. In the hospital, he is reported to have repented. He moved to the Abbey to escape temptation. The pardoner has lived there for a great many years, but lately people have begun to question what he does with all of the money he makes...and the strange orange powder on his hands sometimes when he is careless.

the Abbey have spread rumors that he may be part gnome, for the invention he brought with him when he was accepted for the job is an odd mechanical masterpiece. The music it produces is odd and haunting, and yet over the years it has caught on. Before he came to the Abbey where he now resides, nothing at all is known about the Organist - but to his closest friends back home in the town of Bree, he has revealed some of his youth. Long ago, he conspired to unite the humans and the Gnomes, two races of which he was part, together by a massive robot that would labor and produce a utopian state of peace. Later, he gave up - all he had made was a single organ, the voice-box of his mechanation. He looked for a real job, and sure enough, he discovered the Abbey had need of a musician, and he had just the odd device for the task.

Despite the awe and dread with which the Nazgul are looked upon, there is a human face underlying the horrid evil. Ramangth was the last human to become a Nazgul, and unlike the other eight was never a king in his own right. Ramangth was the advisor a King originally gifted with one of Sauron's corrupted rings. However, it didn't fit his finger so he never bothered to wear it. While the King was on a hunting trip, Ramangth, having smaller fingers, fell under the ring's spell. Fearing the king's wrath, Ramangth fled and eventually found his way south to the land of Mordor. Being a great deal smaller and weaker than the other Nazgul, Ramangth was frequently bullied, especially by the 'Jock' nazgul, Indur Dawndeath. Despite this, he has perservered in his chosen career, although he tends to avoid Barad-dur and hides to avoid being tormented by his fellows.

Unlike the firstborn elves, or those stuffy Noldor, Celeborn and his friends were a rowdy bunch. Celeborn's life was changed forever during one particularly wild party when a bunch of his friends pointed out a hottie over by the keg and dared him to make a play for her. As he stumbled across the room, Celeborn began to have second thoughts when he noticed the spiked collar, and the fact that she was playing hackysack with the keg. A dare is a dare though. Little did he know that this was Finarfin's daughter Galadriel, whose temper was often compared to that of a Balrog. For reasons still unknown to this date, Celeborn survived this encounter and years later they were married. Celeborn's continued survival as Galadriel's husband is still a source of amazment to the other elves of Lothlorien, who have a running pool on when she'll eventually kill him.

Deronoth Bludgeonstone stands every day at the entrance to Khaos Keep. Although he has a fearsome reputation, the truth is much less intimidating. As a young dwarf, Deronoth had great difficulty maintaining a face appropriate for the Bludgeonstone family. Like 10% of all male dwarves, he suffers from dwarven pattern face-baldness. This caused a great deal of friction between Deronath and his father, who was practically born with a beard down to his navel. Indeed, Deronath's father divorced his wife of the time, blaming her for the genetic malady. On several occasions his secret was nearly discovered when perspiration would cause the glue to soften during battle. It was for this reason that landing the coveted Khaos Gate position was such a godsend. No longer would he be required to risk exposure on the battlefield, instead hanging around the gate, drinking elvish wine from the secret flask hidden in his beer mug when nobody is looking.

A. Lamia (the A is short for Ami) studied at the museum art school for 4 years before branching out into independence. She choose Old Thalos because she was under the impression that it would be uninhabited except for the mimics, which make great models for still life paintings. Unfortunately her peace is often interrupted. <Insert commercial for over-hyped crappy fad clothing>. A. Lamia’s name seems to have confused many newbies of, “Yeah, they hear of me and come expecting a fuzzy spitting alpaca or perhaps someone who really sucks at an FPS. Luckily I am neither, something which I am more than happy to prove.” If you are interested in A. Lamia’s work, please visit www.notallama.com.

The chosen leaf Ff’sk was the victim of an unfortunate accident at an early age. He literally dropped out of school after only his second day. Mearly a bud, he was too weak to withstand the wind Autumn kicked up when she was taking her new breeze 2000 <tm> out for a test drive. She felt so badly about mowing down such a young leaf that she chose him to do her community service. “Well, yeah it sucked to be dead and all, but now I’m invisible and very popular with the newbies.”

Mr. Beggar (not his real name) graduated at the top of his class from Mirkwood Institute of Technology. His doctoral paper on the dynamics of pyromancy allowed for the spell pyrokinetic shield to be developed. This learned sage was one of the founding members of the Mage’s guild and it is rumored was up for Immhood once. So what happened? <Insert the same commercial you saw last commercial break>. “Spare some change? Nah? Well bugger you!” After much coaxing (and about 1000 gold) Mr. Beggar elaborated on his apparent decent from grace. “Yeah well it was all a bunch of whining kids you know? Mirkwood sux, mages suck, thieves suck, imms suck. If it sucks so much why be here? In the end I couldn’t be bothered. I’m much happier now. I get up when I want, keep my own schedule, and telling people to get stuffed is part of my job description.” Is Mr. Beggar a true Zen master, or merely a smelly old codger? You decide.