Wednesday, May 21, 2003       ( 6:19 PM ) Lostcheerio   There's no way I can do this for another week let alone six weeks or twelve weeks or whatever it is. I have puked so much today I don't recall. Ate one lousy bowl of chicken broth and white rice and I have now puked twice in my efforts to get rid of it -- I think it's finally gone. The worst thing is that I'm too sick to take care of Benny -- that is really bad. Dan can't help me -- he's on the phone constantly with this or that emergency. At about six o'clock in the evening he can help me, and he is, but that means about 11 hours before that point have to be gotten through... I cannot do it, there is no way. For some reason I thought I'd be shown some mercy this time around since I have Benny to look after and I really CAN'T be this sick for an extended period of time -- but hey. I guess I MISCALCULATED. I'm so sour and dismal and bitter and ill right now it is ridiculous. I know it's all going to be worth it and I'll look back and laugh but honestly right now I don't know how I can go on like this. It's very very bad. #

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