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Saturday, March 29, 2003 ( 2:24 AM ) Lostcheerio This is the story of the liturgical banners that I made. Chapter 1: I cut the base rectangles. I draw out the patterns for Lent on the front, Easter on the back. Then because of a malfunctioning brainal lobe I heat and bond consistently on the front of the fabric rather than the back. I have to go to the fabric store every day to get more fabric and heat and bond and then I relentlessly put it on the wrong side again and am back in the same stew. Chapter 2: I trot my little brisk legs out to the fabric store and I dutifully select enough fabric to replace what I RUINED and another mile of heat and bond, and I trundle off. I go to a long playdate and I go to emergency choir practice and I make dinner and I put the boy to bed, and then I am all ready to finish this heat and bond drama so I draw out my pieces onto the heat and bond, and I march right to the ironing board and I LAY OUT THE FABRIC, RIGHT SIDE UP, AND I TRUCULENTLY AND IGNORANTLY IRON A GREAT BIG PIECE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE FABRIC. I wish I were kidding. I am, alas, not. I mean, this is like, the forty-third time I have made the same brutal error. So, fortunately, this time I had anticipated my complete and unmitigated mental retardation and had bought more fabric than I needed. So I had another piece. So I dragged back to the table and copied off another pattern -- I had to do two identical pieces in the same color, one for each banner. Then dragged back to the ironing board. And very purposefully and virtuously TURNED IT OVER and ironed one of the pieces onto the back. And then I thought, "Gosh, I don't need that other piece after all, I can fit both of these onto this piece of fabric!" So I did, feeling very clever. EXCEPT THE FABRIC WOULDN'T COME UP OFF THE IRONING BOARD! WHY? BECAUSE IT HAD HEAT AND BOND ON THE RIGHT SIDE WHICH I HAD COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN THAT I HAD JUST ERRONEOUSLY PUT THERE. So, redo with the other piece of fabric, right? Wrong. I had no more heat and bond. *STEW* The banners are now ready to be topstitched. That is to say, large pieces of fabric have been heat-and-bonded to a base rectangle. In what order, and to what effect, I have no idea. But I do know that since I cannot post another moron post for 21.5 hours, I should probably stay away from the sewing machine. # Wednesday, March 26, 2003 ( 9:06 AM ) Lostcheerio So, we tried again this month. I'm trying not to be all 'OH I MIGHT BE PREGNANT! I HAVE TO SHRIEK AND RUN AROUND!' about it. I might *NOT* be pregnant. Now there is your balanced and objective reporting. # |
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