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Tuesday, January 06, 2004 ( 7:44 AM ) Lostcheerio Before you ask, no baby is here yet. No, no baby. Not even any decent contractions since yesterday at about 4pm. So, my life stretches on in front of me, shrouded in a dreary miasma of pelvic pain, fatigue, snappishness, the occasional vomit, and of course long series of useless contractions. Grey, hopeless, with no baby toes to eat or pinch, no baby head to smell and coat with aromatic lotion, no baby armpit, no baby knee, nothing but bleak, half-assed, not-even-cold Virginia winter. NEAT. It's extremely fortunate that we have Benny, that's all I can say. Benny is the extreme bright spot in this dull unforgiving world. For Dan and me, all else is dross at the moment. I should be happy and thankful. The baby is warm, fed, happy, quiet, and safe from herds of marauding angry lizards and stoats and whatnot. It's portable. I can sleep at night, for the most part. In fact, last night I had a dream where I could take the baby out of my uterus, play with it, dress it, show it around, and then when it was ready to sleep I could pop it back in for the night. Wouldn't THAT be something? Anyway, my point is, it's not even my due date for five more days. NOT EVEN MY DUE DATE! So what is with all the whinging and croaking about baby coming etc. I've decided that while it would be unreasonable of me to whinge and croak while I'm still not at my due date, IF NOT FOR THE LONG LONG STRETCHES OF STRONG, TIMEABLE, EARNEST CONTRACTIONS. This is the thing -- you can't dangle labor and delivery in front of a woman in her final month of pregnancy and then retract it, dangle and retract, lather rinse repeat, for like A WEEK AND A HALF without causing her some level of impatience and frustration. Possibly even some level of homocidal rage and hollering-at-innocent-husband. Were it not for the contractions, I could cheerfully do this for another month. But I absolve myself of guilt for toe-tapping, considering the circumstances. No one's toe could keep still while their uterus was grinding away like an apple press... COULD THEY? No. So. Off to get Benny ready for preschool. # |
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